so i have this code and i want to give it away... so whoever can tell me the best joke will get it.
also The Multitap podcast on Sanctuary4gamers.com will be giving some of these codes out on Sunday the 28th of March, just a heads up.
I Host The Multitap Podcast on Sanctuary4gamers.com. Click the image above to get there.
A man walks onto a bus and sees this beautiful blonde chinese girl crying. He sits next to her and asks why someone so beautful is crying alone on a bus. The girl replies "Well I am a Nymphomaniac who is only attracted to Jewish cowboys." The man replied, "By the way, my name is Bucky Goldstein."
anyone else?
A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.
The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”
The operator, in a calm, soothing voice, says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: “Okay, now what?”
FistiBump.com (Click to pay the troll toll)
Donald Rumsfeld is giving President Bush his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed.""OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.Finally, the President looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"
This is so stupid, but a friend told me it the other day and actually made me chuckle...
Why do ducks have webbed feet? To stamp out fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet? To stamp out burning ducks.
A man sees his wife crying, and packing a suitcase. He asks what is wrong. She says: "I'm leaving because you're a pedophile!" "Pedophile, huh? That's a big word for a 10 year old"
fireemblem9: A man sees his wife crying, and packing a suitcase. He asks what is wrong. She says: "I'm leaving because you're a pedophile!" "Pedophile, huh? That's a big word for a 10 year old"
THAT, is hilarious.Almost as hilarious as the number of typos I made trying to spell the word hilarious. In case anyone cares, there were seven typos.
Here are some of my own jokes.
Question: How many kids with Attention Deficit Disorder does it take to change a lightbulb?
Answer: Let's go play Halo!!
Question: If you are peddling a canoe backwards up a tree and your wheels fall off, how many pancakes can you fit in the basket?
Answer: None because ice cream doesn't have pockets.
A three year old walked over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctors office. He asks the lady; "Why is your belly so big?" She replies; "I am having a baby". He asked; "is the baby in your belly?" She says "He sure is." He asks "is he a good baby?" she says "yes, he is a real good baby" so he asks, with his eyes wide, "Then why did you EAT him?"
A good friend will come bail you out of jail, but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying "dude last night was epic"
Don't hit kids! No seriously, they have guns now
Grandpa was reminiscing about the good old days... "When I were a lad, me mother would send me down to t'corner shop wi' a quarter and I'd come back wi' five pounds o' potatoes, two loaves o' bread, three pints o' milk, a pound o' cheese, a packet o' tea, and a 'alf a dozen eggs. Ya can't do that now, too many bloody security cameras."
I heard this one from two three year old kids, so picture two three year old kids telling jokes, and this one coming up.
"Knock Knock"
"Who's there?"
"Bananas!"
Weird at first, but then picture that happening 10 times in a row. I swear, I laughed until I cried.
*Edit - Yes, that really is all of the joke in case you were wondering. That's why it's so amazing.
ok 2 days left, i'm giving until friday
elsock: ok 2 days left, i'm giving until friday
So what you are saying is that my bananas joke didn't do it for you? Hm...let me consult my other 3 year old cousins for more jokes then...
An old man visits his doctor and requests Viagra.
The doctor looks him over and says, "I don't know that you're healthy enough for sex, I don't think it's a good idea."
The man tells the doc, "Please doc, I'll take it easy."
Against his better judgment, the doctor prescribes the pills and instructs the old man to only take a half of a pill at a time and to come back in two weeks.
Two weeks later, the old man comes back in with a huge grin on his face.
The doctor says, "Judging by your smile, the pills are working for you."
The man replies, "They sure are, doc! I haven't pissed on my shoes in two weeks!"
ok so i have chosen winners... i had more lbp codes than i thought, so i picked 2 winners, EagleThorn and StLobus. Thx for playing guys, and don't forget that The Multitap Podcast on Sanctuary4gamers.com will be giving out more of these codes on Sunday the 21st of March. They will also be giving out Blur Beta Keys.. Thx again for playing guys.
Three Girls that are friends, are wondering in a desert. A Brunette, a Red Head and a Blonde.After days of wandering they come across a magic genie lamp, "I will grant you each one wish" says the genie. So the Brunette wishes to be put back home. The Red Head wishes she had a nice plane to fly off in. The Blonde after hours of thinking says, "This is boring I wish my friends were here."
Not the best but I tried
Thumbs up for Great Games that no one noticed....