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WINNER ANNOUNCED The IWX SOMETHING YOU DON'T WANT Contest

 
 
WINNER ANNOUNCED The IWX SOMETHING YOU DON'T WANT Contest
02-01-2010 3:28 AM by agreedagreed. 214 replies.
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This post has 214 Replies | 18 Followers

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Chambered:
The moral of this story is: Don't stand up in a canoe.

 

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Posts 333

Love those Moral of the story jokes:

 

A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's BMW back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking!

A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, "I think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, "Grab for my penis and pull yourself up." And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety.

 

Moral of the Story: If you're hung like a horse, you don't need a BMW to pick up chicks.

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Lynchcrew:
Moral of the Story: If you're hung like a horse, you don't need a BMW to pick up chicks.

 

 

True, but it only works if you drop your pants and hang it out in front of them as your "pick up" line!

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Chambered:

Lynchcrew:
Moral of the Story: If you're hung like a horse, you don't need a BMW to pick up chicks.

 

 

True, but it only works if you drop your pants and hang it out in front of them as your "pick up" line!

Works for Tiger Woods. Wink

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wetwillies:

What did 50 Cent's grandmother say to him when he gave her a sweater for Christmas?

G-Unit?

I looked at this after lunch, and didn't get it.

Four hours later, after staring at it for five minutes, I finally understand.

Kudos to you, sir.  Kudos.

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Yeah, that one was a head scratcher for me for about an hour. Had to keep coming back to it to look at it...

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Renaissance 2K:

wetwillies:

What did 50 Cent's grandmother say to him when he gave her a sweater for Christmas?

G-Unit?

I looked at this after lunch, and didn't get it.

Four hours later, after staring at it for five minutes, I finally understand.

Kudos to you, sir.  Kudos.

Ditto! This is one of those jokes that you have to read out-loud to yourself in order to get it. I can just imagine what the delivery would be like if someone were to tell me this joke in person. LOL.

 

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Renaissance 2K:

wetwillies:

What did 50 Cent's grandmother say to him when he gave her a sweater for Christmas?

G-Unit?

I looked at this after lunch, and didn't get it.

Four hours later, after staring at it for five minutes, I finally understand.

Kudos to you, sir.  Kudos.

Ah! I just got that one....Confused

This thread is starting to make me nauseous. Ick! Ugh....

Zenverse

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How many men does it take to open a beer?


None, it should be open when she brings it to you.

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w4rgasm:

How many men does it take to open a beer?


None, it should be open when she brings it to you.

It's funny because women are inferior to men!

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why dont the police let Michael Jackson swim at public pools

because he likes to blow Bubbles

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Todays 5....

 

Knock Knock jokes:

 

Knock Knock
Whos there?
Cash
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer peanuts.

 

Knock knock
Whos There?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock knock
Whos There?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock knock
Whos There?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock knock
Whos there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didnt say banana again?

 

Knock knock
Whos there?
Boo
Boo who?
Why ya crying?

 

Knock knock
Whos there
Old lady
Old lady who?
Hey, i didnt know you could yodel.

 

Knock knock
Whos there?
Dewey
Dewey who?
Dewey have to keep telling knock knock jokes?

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Why doesn't Han Solo eat bear meat?

Because it's Chewie!  (Grrrerrroooooowwrrrrr)

 

What do you get when you cross a nun and a rock?

An angry nun and an angry rock.

 

Sorry, I had to.

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1) What did the mermaid do last Sunday night?

-She went to sea a movie.

2) Why didn't the girl want to leave nursery school?

-She wanted to be a nurse.

3) Why was Joe walking backwards on the first day of school?

-Everyone said it was back to school time.

4) Where did Napoleon keep his armies?

- In his sleevies.

5) How do you make anti-freeze?

- Take away her blanket.

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Goozex AV

The investigation of Martha Stewart continues. Her recipe for chicken casserole is quite efficient. First you boil the chicken in water. And  then you dump the stock.

 

A man is recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling. "I 'm O. K. but I didn't like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery," he answered. "What did he say," asked the nurse. "OOPS!"

 

Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder
1. All the DNA is the same.
2. There are no dental records.

 

Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values.  Stu said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?" Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, What was her maiden name ?"

 

A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?" The father replied. "Well son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still have mine"


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